The War Film: 30 Personal Favourites Part Two

(The second installment of my countdown of my favourite 30 war films)

20. Three Kings (1999)
For some reason there have been very few satisfactory films made about the two Gulf Wars. I've not been compelled to see the likes of "In The Valley of Elah" or "Redacted", two examples of the recent Hollywood attempt to make filmic sense out of the Iraq invasion of 2003. The first Gulf War spawned a few more films which I've seen, and whilst "Courage Under Fire" was pretty ordinary "Jarhead" was a better film. However if I was to pick one movie that looks at the American wars against Saddam's Iraq I'd have to go with "Three Kings". The George Clooney and Mark Wahlberg variation on the "Kelly's Heroes" war heist scenario is not frightened of making satirical swipes at the policies which shaped the American involvement in Iraq, and there is a telling inditcment of the responsibility that winning the war left for the US (and it's moral repercussions). "Three Kings" is intelligent enough to show how the MTV generation fights a war that it arguably feels no real human connection with, and then when brutalities are finally experienced it shocks the sensabilities of the average American soldier citizen into unexpected responses. This isn't the glorious and bloodless victory of smart bombs and Patriot missiles, this is Joe Average facing up to the nasty truths of war and politics.


19. Apocalypse Now (1979)
Some people would say this is the flawed masterpiece about the Vietnam War. It has some of the most powerful sequences in the depiction of war in film in cinema history (for example the "Ride of the Valkyries" sequence as Robert Duvall as Colonel Kilgore brings in his airborne troops in a raid on a VC held coastal town). The reputations of both the film stars and the director have been embellished by the experience of creating "Apocalypse Now" (how can anyone forget the manner in which Francis Ford Coppola and Martin Sheen both suffered physically and mentally in filming the movie, whilst Marlon Brando's Colonel Kurtz is his last great bravura performance). For me it's a war film that is perhaps just too allegorical for my enjoyment. The transformation of the Joseph Conrad novella "Heart of Darkness" into a Vietnam War film is made with a tad too much intellectual rationalisation. Also, having seen "Apocalypse Now Redux" the length of the movie is a problem as well. This is a classic film, don't get me wrong. But I have other Vietnam War films that speak more tellingly to me both as visual entertainment and as depictions of what I consider more honest combat cinema.


18. The Big Red One (1980)
Sam Fuller was a Hollywood legend, an auteur who had a vision in his cinema that was gritty, intelligent, individualistic and both positively and negatively never mainstream. His films were never the big Hollywood blockbusters like "The Longest Day", but in the case of "The Big Red One" he was able to combine sufficient funding with a brilliant script and his idiosyncratic, personalised vision to make one of the best war films ever. Lee Marvin's Sergeant (never given a full name) is possibly the ex-US Marine's best role ever, and the manner in which small unit combat is shown through the eyes of his squad of grunts in North Africa, Italy, France, Belgium and Germany is both brutally honest and poetic at the same time. There are moments of surreal action (e.g. the battle in the insane asylum) which raise this movie above stock standard "war is hell" themes. However it is also the ordinariness of the individual soldiers and how a core group of slowly combat-tired troops struggle to survive as replacements and friends alike die that gives "The Big Red One" its strength. If only "Saving Private Ryan" had as much integrity. If it wasn't for the fact I've only seen this movie a couple of times and the budget does impinge upon Fuller's vision somewhat I'd rate this higher amongst my personal favourites.


17. 300 (2006)
Having just commented on two intelligent films struggling to convey a vision of war that both compels and confounds the movie goer now I turn my attention to a gory, shallow, inane but highly enjoyable piece of ancient war as semi-real cartoon. "300" is the story of the Spartan warriors led by Leonidas in defence of the pass at Thermopylae in 480BC. It is a movie that is incredibly stylised, with only a glancing historical truth and actors who perform not as realistic people but instead as computer game-like figurines. But the battle sequences, the effects, the aural and visual excitement offered by hoplite spear, shield and sword battling insurmountable Persian odds! I get a little bored with the flat and intrusive scenes showing the political in-fighting back on the home front...as long as Leonidas and his men are killing and maiming the invading Persians this is glorious silliness. Forget the homoerotic subtext and the neo-con political posturing; this is a boy's own war film with brave soldiers battling on the big screen giving plenty of thrills to the viewer.


16. Gettysburg (1993)
If "The Longest Day" is the most expansive and broad-sweeping treatment givenby Hollywood to a major American battle of the Twentieth Century, then "Gettysburg" is it's Civil War equivalent. This is not a short, highly personalised vision of one of the two key turning point battles of the war between the Confederate South and the Federal North; this is an epic vision that with its expanse and length tries to eulogise and commemorate all the participants. In fact, this is the movie equivalent of the Gettysburg Cyclorama, both depicting the dramatic crescendo of Pickett's suicidal charge on the forces of the Union's Army of the Potomac. In part this is a traditional 'battle' film in that generally speaking politics and philosophy don't enter the thematic explorations. It could be argued this is Ted Turner's paean to the confederacy (Turner's company produced the film and a renowned and very rich Georgian he had quite the interest in battle reconstructors who provide much of the film's soldiery), and I guess one can say without references to the issue of slaving in the south then this is an apologist's film. However bravery isn't just a Confederate virtue; the sequences with Jeff Daniels as Colonel Joshua Chamberlain commanding the 20th Maine at the Little Big Top are brilliant depictions of small unit defensive action defined by courage under superior forces. We also get to see the major commanders including Longstreet (Tom Berenger), Pickett (Stephen Lang), Hancock (Brian Mallon) and J.E.B. Stuart (Jospeh Fuqua) attempting to lead their respective men into battle and onto victory. The stand out figure though and the focal character of "Gettysburg" is Martin Sheen's Robert E Lee. If any American commander can be canonised through a film it would be Lee in "Gettysburg". Sheen's Lee has gravitas, dignitas and auctoritas like a true Virginian patrician, with just the right amount of human frailty and concern for his troops. This is American Civil War epic writ large on the big screen, and for all its failings as an historical account "Gettysburg" is a damned powerful film.


15. MASH (1970)
The Korean War has not exactly been fertile ground for great war films. "Pork Chop Hill" and "The Bridges of Toko-Ri" are two reasonable exceptions to this rule, however as the conflict was overshadowed culturally by the retelling of World War II exploits, and politically fell under the influence of Hollywood's desire to escape McCarthyist slanders it took some time before the Korean War got its great classic. And it could be argued with great accuracy that in itself "MASH" is in fact a Vietnam War film. Death and butchery being inflicted for seemingly nonsensical reasons speaks more about how contemporaries of the latter Asian war on the American homefront perceived 'their' war than how the slightly older generation saw the UN's first military campaign. However putting aside the historical orientation of "MASH" it is worth remembering this is one of the best black comedies about war with a stellar cast. Donald Sutherland as Hawkeye and Elliot Gould as Trapper John serve as the major catalysts through which Altman wreaks change upon the once dramatic world of the military hospital, however due to the slightly episodic nature of the film we see a panoply of great actors from the late 60s and early 70s Hollywood firmament. Robert Duvall, Tom Skerritt, Sally Kellerman, Gary Burghoff, Rene Auberjonois, Jo Anne Pflug, Bud Cort and Michael Murphy amongst other flesh out a world that has all the self-ironic satire that Robert Altman can muster. The blood and guts is not quite as shocking as the cynicism and humour to wrought out of war's insanity. One of Altman's best, and one of the best films from Hollywood in the last forty years full stop.


14. The Longest Day (1962)
In terms of military/industrial effort Operation Overlord and the landings in Normandy on June 6th 1944 are almost unparalleled for sclae of effort. "The Longest Day" is Hollywood's cinematic equivalent in the war film genre; there may have been movies with bigger budgets (e.g. "Pearl Harbour") but no movie has ever really come close to having a veritable expeditionary force of major and semi-major film stars pop in and out of view. John Wayne, Robert Ryan, Richard Burton, Peter Lawford, Sean Connery, Henry Fonda, Red Buttons, Gert Frobe, John Gregson, Richard Todd, Curt Jurgens, Roddy McDowell, Paul Anka, Sal Mineo, Kenneth More, Rod Steiger, Stuart Whitman...and that's just a sample of the cast! Sometimes 'spot the star' disrupts one's attention to the film however for all its epic qualities "The Longest Day" almost serves as cinema verite in the way it captures the action. Filmed in black and white and using extensive historical resources (both for the script and in the form of advisors) this is a rare fictional film in that you almost feel like you're watching a documentary. Before "Saving Private Ryan" showed in its washed out colours the scenes in "The Longest Day" showing the landing at Omaha came across as the most realistic. Plus the use of German actors speaking German, French actors speaking French etc helps the authenticity of this movie. A staple of TV repeats since released "The Longest Day" can be called the most appropriate interpretation of D-Day ever seen, and certainly one of the greatest war film of any age.


13. Zulu (1964)
War films glorying in colonial gallantry and the defeat of the dashed fuzzy-wuzzies simply aren't possible nowadays. Mostly due to political correctness and embarrassment over the historical truth of European professional armies slaughtering the natives, Hollywood and other outposts of Anglo-European film culture would run a million miles away from depicting what "Zulu" did in 1964. A brave, determined and very Caucasian band of soldiers fight for their lives led by the upper class, affected Lieutenant Bromhead (Michael Caine) and the lower class professional Lieutenant Chard (Stanley Baker) after the dreaded black Zulu's have butchered a much larger force of British troops at Isandhlwana, and this is a film that reinforces the legend based on the Welsh regiment that defended Rorke's Drift. The effects look dated now and you can pick apart the veracity of the movie's themes. However when all is said and done "Zulu" is a rattling good war film with lots of action, courage under fire, extraordinary things done by ordinary men and of course a line of redcoated infantrymen singing "Men of Harlech". For anyone with a drop of Celtic blood in them "Zulu" will stir the heart. Plus due its numerous repeats on TV this is a film like several already cited in this list which I know better than even some family member's birthdays.

12. Flyboys (2006)
I think it's fair to say that this is not the most critically acclaimed film ever made about World War One. "Paths of Glory" is a far better film, as are the more closely related films "Dawn Patrol" and "Wings". In fact as has been pointed out by some critics "Flyboys" is actually a film that refers back to earlier war films than actual combat history from the Lafayette Squadron's exploits of the First World War. No matter; nor does the stodgy and dated love story really matter. What I love about this movie is the manner in which biplane dogfights are recreated during the film. "Flyboys" suffers a little from CGI- overuse however watching the French Nieuports and the German Fokker Dreidekkers going at it hammer and tong, Spandaus blazings, Zeppelins exploding and aircraft tumbling out of the sky...well it gets the blood going no worries. The characters are fairly stereotypical with some nods to early 21 st century sensibilities. But I don't want to watch "Flyboys" for the men in the machines. I want to watch this movie and marvel at the manner in which air combat first happened. This is a "Biggles" style movie; forego the plot, the actors, the themes; just revel in the Boche being shot down by our lads in their magnificent flying machines!


11. Hamburger Hill (1987)
The mid to late 80s saw a plethora of Vietnam War films deluge the cinemas, due in no small part to the success of "Platoon". Whilst Oliver Stone's Oscar-winning film took the semi-mythic approach, "Casualties of War" was a military morality play and "Full Metal Jacket" was a typical Kubrickesque exercise in weirdness, "Hamburger Hill" was a true 'grunt's' film. This was a movie where the viewer watched a squad of US paratroopers, some short timers others FNGs, trying to defeat two enemies. One was obviously the NVA forces astride Hamburger Hill; the second enemy was the hill itself. Unlike those films referred to before this is one of the few movies which shows hows viscerally tiring it is to be an infantryman. The actors are generally no namers, with a few who have had more success in TV or film since the movie's release (e.g. Don Cheadle, Dylan McDermott, Steven Weber, Courtney Vance), and that actually is a strength of the movie. These could be any soldiers in any war humping the boonies, trying to make sure that they don't die for their country, they make the other sad fucker die for his. It's obvious most of the troopers will die, it's obvious this is a futile and flawed exercise in war's general insanity. But like so much that has become part of the revised view of post-war military exploits you can hate the war but can't but admire the warriors. And by the way "Hamburger Hill" has more Vietnam War slang per minute than any other movie before or since. A much underappreciated classic.

Andrew's Top 10 British Sitcoms: The 70s

As a child who would sit in front of the idiot box devouring hours of television it's only natural that I've formed strong nostalgic memories for the likes of Mrs Slocombe, Lurcio and Robin Tripp. Now this list won't be purely based on critical merit or indeed success. However they are all gems from a time when the merest mention of "My pussy..." or "I'll have half" would raise a smile.

10. Love Thy Neighbor
Yes, this is an incredibly dated and racist program which would not bear repeating in the same timelsot it used to have on Channel 7 here in Australia. In retrospect the tension between the self-parodying racism of Eddie Booth (Jack Smethurst) and the actual 'comedy' wrought by using terms like "Nig Nog" knocks down the pretension that some may had for this show as being another "Till Death Us Do Part". Admittedly the racism could be even handed, and both the lead women characters (Joan Booth, played by Kate Williams and Barbie Reynolds, played by Nina Baden-Semper) provided much of the more positive hunour. But The racist bantering between Eddie and Bill (Rudolph Walker) is probably unwatchable today. Perhaps the best aspects of "Love Thy Neighbour" were those times when Eddie and Bill actually sided together (usually against Joan and Barbie), or the rambling Jacko (Eddie and Bill's drinking friend...hence the expression "I'll have half..."). "Love Thy Neighbour" was also one of those culture cringe examples of Australian TV when they made an "...in Australia" version.


9. Citizen Smith
I've not as strong memories of "Citizen Smith" as some of the other shows listed here but I do recall that the basic premise was one of the funnier (the Tooting Popular Front lead by Wolfie, played by Robert Lindsay). There were equal amounts of ridicule thrown at the conservatives and the socialists, some archetypal domestic shenanigans (Florence Johnson, played by Hilda Braid kept up the tradition of slightly dotty mothers) and some funny minor characters (Tucker and Speed). The suburban eccentric is a staple of British humour and "Citizen Smith" is one of the more worthy examples of British 70s TV.


8. Up Pompeii
There were several British sitcoms that revolved around a major TV or film personality. Ronnie Barker had several ("Open All Hours" and "Porridge" for example), as did Barry Evans ("Doctor In the House" and "Mind Your Language"). In the case of "Up Pompeii" it was all Frankie Howard. A past master of the double entendre and the risque joke, Howard made "Up Pompeii". It certainly helped that there were plenty of plunging tunicas woren by the female characters. Sad to say when it was shown on local TV I didn't see too many episodes (what with it being too rude for a small child) but I have fond memories of what I saw. Plus looking back on its skewed debt to the Roman comedies of Plautus the classicist in me is happy to see Latin dirty jokes getting a re-run.


7. Robin's Nest
Whilst not quite as enjoyable as "Man About The House" (see below) "Robin's Nest" gave us a chance to see what happened to Richard O'Sullivan's character of Robin Tripp after he left the Chrissy and Jo. Created in a very traditional format (i.e. young couple have trouble with the in-laws; in this case Tony Britten's James Nicholls, father of Robin's girlfriend then wife Vicki, played by Tessa Wyatt) "Robin's Nest" was arguably more gentler than "Man About The House". However where the spin-off excelled was in the character of Albert, the one armed Irish dish-washer and dogsbody. Played by David Kelly, Albert added just the right amount of surrealism, slapstick and Irish jokes to "Robin's Nest" to make it a 70s classic. And Tessa Wyatt was quite easy on the eye too!


6. Get Some In
Military comedies were a standard of British TV and radio after the war, and the 70s saw quite a few. There was "Dad's Army" set during WW2 in a Home Guard unit, "It Ain't Half Hot Mum" which was about a group of army entertainers in Burma and India also during WW2, and "Get Some In", which was set during the 50s in the RAF. It wasn't so much the writing that makes this show stick in the memory, and there were some clichéd roles (i.e. Tony Selby's Corporal Marsh was probably a British cousin of Sgt Carter from "Gomer Pyle") . However it was the launching pad for Robert Lindsay as a comic actor (always called Teddy Boy by Marsh) and the ensemble of recruits (Ken Richardson a.k.a. 'Poofhouse', Matthew Lilley and Bruce Leckie) were risible targets for toned-down barracks room humour. My fondest memory of this show was watching episodes during the lunch breaks in Channel 9's coverage of the 1977 Ashes series.


5. Open All Hours
Ronnie Barker was probably the greatest British TV comic actor of the seventies and perhaps of all time. His work in "The Two Ronnies" was brilliant, and his appearances in such other notable series as "The Frost Report", "The Magnificent Evans", "Porridge" and its sequel "Going Straight" are legendary, but for me it was always his work as Arkwright in "Open All Hours" which sets his mark on the British sitcom. The devious, randy and stuttering Arkwright was perpetually berating David Jason's Granville or lusting after Nurse Gladys Emmanuel (Lynda Baron) and for such a simple set up there were always plenty of laughs. Some of it was no doubt derived from the Yorkshire setting plus much came from Barker's impeccable timing in using his stutter. David Jason's Granville was more interesting as a secondary character contrasted with Richard Beckinsale's Godber in "Porridge", but in the end this is Barker's finest hour. How can anyone not laugh at an avaricious lecher selling canned goods?


4. Dad's Army
One of the most beloved shows of British TV history, and certainly a fixture on the ABC TV viewing schedule in my house during the 70s, "Dad's Army" was a favourite which may not have stood the test of time still sits prominently in my memory. The whole cast were marvellously portrayed, however it was the duo of John Le Mesurier (Sgt Wilson) and Arthur Lowe (Captain Mainwaring) that formed the centre. I actually found the work of Clive Dunn (L/Cpl Jones), John Laurie (Private Jones) and James Beck's Private Walker more enjoyable. There were heaps of catch-phrases ("They don't like it up 'em", "You stupid boy", "Napoleon", "Permission to...") and the mix of slapstick and astute observational comedy with a sizeable ensemble cast elevates this show to legendary status. Perhaps not as anarchic or as shocking as some of my other fave 70s sitcoms it's had a far more significant impact on my memory on so many others.


3. Fawlty Towers
Yes, I know it's the all time most perfect British sit com! Yes I know it has John Cleese in it who wrote and performed in Monty Python's Flying Circus and is a comedy GOD! Yes I know that they only ever made 12 episodes and it is almost impossible not to lose a lung laughing at epsiodes like "The Germans" and "Basil The Rat". But it can only come in third place on this list for me because it is so painful to watch. Not painful bad, but painful "oh my god what will be said or done next that will make me hide my eyes and giggle at the same time?" painful. There are heaps of other more erudite commenst available on the show, but when all is said and done for me I can laugh at "Fawlty Towers" but underneath is just too much agony for all involved. And by the way, I actually like Basil. In fact if you have ever done any customer service work before (as I have) then you'll know just scratch the surface and a little bit of Basil comes out in us all.


2. Are You Being Served
This was almost the perfect British 70s sitcom. There were jokes made about class, about sex, about sex again, about being British, about work and about sex. Oh, and did I mention it was a comedy that made sexual jokes and double entendres? The balance between all the major characters (Captain Peacock, Mrs Slocombe, Mr Humphries, Miss Brahms, Mr Grainger and Mr Lucas) was fantastic and the work of sitcom veteran writers John Lloyd and David Croft (the latter also responsible for writing epsiodes of "It Ain't Half Hot Mum", "Dad's Army" and later "Hi-De-Hi" and "Allo, Allo") kept the giggles coming. John Inman's Mr Humphries was probably the first camp comic superstar and his catch phrase of "I'm free..." will get almost anyone over 30 laughing even today. then there was Mollie Sugden's Mrs Slocombe. It was amazing what her character's pussy experienced over 10 seasons of this classic. Like "Father Dear Father" and "Love Thy Neighbour" "Are You Being Served" made it down under in a local spin off, but it was always the original which was the best. At times politically incorrect (hell, what was during the 70s?), "Are You Being Served" is the very model of a British TV comedy with knickers and boobs on the mind, being played far more cleverly than such tawdry themes would nominally allow.


1. Man About The House
I know...how can a mildly smutty comedy about a male culinary student living with two young women in a flat which has a arguing married couple as their landlords be my favourite British 70s sitcom? Why not "Fawlty Towers" or "Porridge" or "It Ain't Half Hot Mum" or...? Well it's simple. First off this was a show I'd watch often with my parents, particularly my father, and being able to laugh at what grown ups did was very important for a kid during the 1970s (and probably still is today). Secondly, in the characters of George and Mildred Roper there are two of the finest bickering husband and wife characters ever seen on TV. In fact I wonder if Yootha Joyce's Mildred wasn't somehow the mild inspiration for Peggy Bundy in "Married With Children". "Man About the House" also set up two spin-offs, and made excellent use of the talents of all the actors. The unrequited attraction between Chrissy and Robin is also a huge selling point for this show. Richard O'Sullivan's Robin is a decent but sex-mad young man and his efforts to bed Paula Wilcox's Chrissy always end in disappointment. However the main reason I love "Man About the House" is because of Paula Wilcox. She is the cutest, funniest actress in British sitcom history and up there as a true 70s dolly bird (in the truest non-sexist but slightly frisky 70s sense of the phrase). She knocks Wendy Richard's Miss Brahms aside and makes Felicity Kendall from "The Good Life" look drab and dowdy. As long as Paula Wilcox in her role of Chrissy is stuck in video amber on DVDs and repeats of "Man About The House" then I'll be a happy chappy with my fave Brit-sitcom from the 70s.

The War Film: 30 Personal Favourites Part One

As a person who is intrigued by military history and enjoys cinema the war film is one of my favourite movie genres. So when it comes to war films I have seen literally dozens, and have plenty of personal favourites. This list is a condensation of my preferred titles however there are some that deserve recognition which I have included at the end of the list. Also, for the purposes of the list's criteria I have excluded films such as "The Pianist", "Spartacus" and "Gone With The Wind" in that whilst they have significant war settings are not necessarily about war or combat itself. However those and other similar examples are worthy of much merit.

30. Prisoner of the Mountains (1996)
This is a rather unique war film for me in that it is Russian, deals with the first war in Chechnya and it is effectively a 'POW film'. I'm not a huge fan of the POW genre (for example I've never really rated "The Bridge on the River Kwai") but there is something rewarding about watching Sergei Bodrov's update on a Tolstoy short story. The two lead Russian characters (played by Oleg Menshikov and Bodrov's own son) are effectively drawn and played, and their relationship with the Chechen guerillas and villagers is depicted with great humanity. I'm also partial to the manner in which the younger Russian soldier's mother tries to effect her son's release whilst delaing with a corrupt and inefficient Russian army structure. But the real star and focal point of the film is the Chechen girl Dina, played by Susanna Mekhraliyeva.

29. Battle of Britain (1969)
This is not a movie to watch if you want to see compelling acting, a driven narrative and cohesive direction. It is however a film to see if you love military aviation. The use of surviving examples of RAF Spitfires and Hurricanes, combined with Me-109s and He-111s (ironically these German types were actually Spanish Air Force equipment with Rolls Royce engines) makes the dogfight footage better than almost every other war film. Also "Battle of Britain" takes a remarkably even handed approach with the Luftwaffe aircrew being shown just as brave and dedicated as the RAF's.


28. Catch 22 (1970)
Another example of a Hollywood war film made at a time when comedy was used to give far more telling insights into war's nature than traditional gung-ho films like "The Green Berets", "Catch 22" is a fine example of an ensemble cast making great work of a fine script married with some pleasing use of real WW2 hardware (in this instance B-25 Mitchell bombers). Alan Arkin leads a stellar cast however this is one of those few movies with such a line-up that doesn't lead to "Hey, isn't that...?" viewing. The narrative and the themes are given due deference and with Mike Nichol's sure hand at satire this is a great film full stop, let alone great war film.


27. Dark Blue World (2001)
This Czech film is another paean to military aviation, in that the footage of Supermarine Spitfires is beautfully shot. Plus it also has some important and interesting points to raise about the role of Czech pilots who fought for the Allies in the RAF in WW2, and were then persecuted and imprisoned by the Communists after 1948. However the love story which is the fulcrum for the film's dramatic tension is a little flat.


26. Memphis Belle (1990)
Inspired by the war doco filmed about the original "Memphis Belle" (a USAAF B-17 Flying Fortress) this is a more traditional Hollywood war film. It looks at the aircraft's crew as a microcosm of American society and its attitude to war, and has some stereotypical messages about courage, teamwork, American power and friendship. The footage of the B-17s is good to great but there are moments when the model footage is a bit ordinary. Looking back on the film's cast it isn't necessarily the likes of Matthew Modine and Eric Stolz who I find interesting, but those who aren't actually part of the Memphis Belle's crew. John Lithgow as the braggart media officer and David Strathairn as the unit commander are more compelling as they try and make sense of a war in which they don't actually fight, using the deeds of the flight crews as their mission.


25. Stalingrad (1993)
German war films are a particular interest of mine, partly because of the manner in which post-war Germans have to deal with their own collective war guilt, and partly because 'the other side's' story is naturally interesting. "Stalingrad" is a good example of the combat film from the enemy's standpoint and it doesn't stray too far from showing both the good and the bad of the Wehrmacht's activities during WW2. It is more about the failure of command to understand and support the frontline soldaten and it doesn't seriously question why German soldiers were fighting for the Nazis in Stalingrad. Yet it does make the viewer think a little bit more ambiguously about the stereotypical bad guy German. This is the film that established Thomas Kretschmann as the archetypal good German soldier/actor.


24. Kelly's Heroes (1970)
This is not so much a classic war film as a heist movie set during WW2. The emphasis on comedy is far greater than you would expect in other war films, however this doesn't make it any less exciting or interesting for a military buff. There is also some incredibly anachronistic aspects to the film (Donald Sutherland's Oddball and his hippie tankers are the prime example) however this is just an additional twist on what is one of the more enjoyable war films made whilst the US was in Vietnam. The ensemble cast is fun to watch, with Clint Eastwood, Telly Savales, Don Rickles and Donald Sutherland the obvious stand outs.


23. Saving Private Ryan (1998)
I guess it could be seen as a bit harsh to have this classic war film so low in my personal favourites, and I admit that for many others this is not related to its impact. However this is a flawed Spielberg masterpiece in that the manner in which this populist director manipulates the viewer's emotions so overtly annoys me. The nitial landing sequence on Omaha beach is brilliant, and both aurally and visually is possibly the best battle sequence ever filmed. The final combat between the American paratroops and the German forces is also great viewing. However as the movie follows Tom Hanks' squad through Normandy it loses its impact. I got sick and tired of seeing close-ups of Hanks' shaking hand, and I kept wanting to fight against the way Spielberg telegraphed every reaction he was evoking in me. It must be said that the real star is Janusz Kaminski's cinematography; he makes the movie look stunning with his washed out grimy tones.


22. Heartbreak Ridge (1986)
Perhaps this is Clint Eastwood at his most post-modernist self-ironic, perhaps this is neo-con propaganda.Whatever the story this is a fun and enjoyable update on John Wayne's "Sands of Iwo Jima". Clint Eastwood is at his most over-the-top best playing Gunny Highway trying to weld a very average unit into a squad of 'heart breakers and life takers' before the invasion of Grenada. the balance between Eastwood's character trying to do his job as expected by his Marine superiors whilst re-engaging with his ex-wife (played by Marsha Mason) is pretty good. However let's not beat around the bush; this is a pulp film that isn't out to say too much about war.


21. The Guns on Navarone (1961)
The Hollywood model of war film involving a small band of elite troops doing daredavil feats against seemingly impossible odds is wonderfully represented in this classic adaptation of the Alistair Mclean novel. Possibly seen as way too old fashioned now, "Guns..." was a staple war film for me when I was younger as it was repeated over and over again on TV. Gregory Peck is solid as Captain Mallory the leader of the Allied commandos but it is the supporting cast who do afr better. David Niven's Corporal Miller is sufficiently insubordinate to give the film some bite, whilst Anthony Quinn is enjoyable as the local Greek guerilla. The most imressive however is Irene Pappas; she adds steel and humanity to the film and she plays possibly one of the most important female roles in a war film.

Not The Bill Collins Blog No.16: Alvin Rides Again

Sequels are a hit and miss affair, with the emphasis more often on the 'miss' than the 'hit'. And whilst Hollywood is the prime culprit in pumping out ever-diminishing quality films that follow on from an original hit ("Police Academy" sequels anyone?), even the local industry is prone to sequelmania. The "Crocodile Dundee" sequence stuttered to a stop when the last entry died the death, "Mad Max" reached a big budget climax with the third entry "Beyond Thunderdome" and is apparently possibly gearing up for a reboot or fourth entry, and as referred to earlier the Bazza McKenzie films had one huge success and one fairly average follow up. For a film industry that in the early years of its renaissance was starved of box office smashes it was only natural that "Alvin Purple" would sporn a sequel. Hence the production of "Alvin Rides Again"

The first film was reasonable in so far as it had some fairly humorous scenes, a Candide-inspired central character and provided a huge shot in the arm for the revenue sources of Australian movies. Sad to say when it came around to "Alvin Rides Again" there was not much to add to the first film and the cliched plot contrivances and silly acting generally sunk the movie to the same level as a bad "Carry On..." film. Built around the construct of Alvin Purple (again played by Graeme Blundell) resembling an American gangster (Balls McGee) who has some very serious business down under, and the aforesaid criminal getting killed and Alvin having to masquerade as Balls, well..."Alvin Rides Aagin" is that tired.

Perhaps the most redeeming facet of this sequel is that the cast has a panoply of Aussie character and stock cast actors. High on this list is Frank Thring who had a small Hollywood career during the late 50s and early 60s, and his presence adds just the right tone of fake dignitas which underscores the ridiculousness of the movie. There's also a mildly interesting return of 70s Aussie sex kitten Abigail, who had a stronger role in the original film as "Girl on a tram showing her tits", and it's very pleasing for a fan of Aussie TV cheesecake actresses from the 70s to see the likes of Candy Raymond, Briony Behets and Kris McQuade. Chantal Contouri (as Boobs La Touche...arguably one of the worst ever character names in Antipodean cinema history) is the 'love' interest for Alvin and if you can call a scene with lovemaking in a Purple Valiant Charger with inbuilt bed as her performance climax then Chantal reaches hers there and then. Noel Ferrier and Gus Mecurio make cameos as gangster types and add just the right amount of silliness to the overall feel of the film. However this is an incredibly slight film trading off the reputation and money-making set up of a predecessor that in turn was cashing in on pervey sex comedy cliches.

I never got a chance to see "Alvin Rides Again" in the cinema when released, partly due to age issues but really even if its classification let me in I don't think I'd have gone anyway. Thanks to the DVD age and in turn the decision by Village Roadshow to couple both Alvin films together I was able to view the sequel about a year or so ago. I had however seen the aforementioned purple Valiant Charger at a local show and it held just a smidgin more interest than the film. Then, when the third and absolute last film adventure for Alvin came along (Melvin, Son of Alvin) though I was okay to see it classification-wise I never went either because it was crap or it disappeared from the local cinemas without a trace. A once entertaining and financially viable film idea had been killed by the paucity of ideas, character, performances and direction and in "Alvin Rides Again" Oz cinema had shown it was just as capable of producing mediocre genre films that killed the semi-golden goose.

My Rating: 1 Bill

Top Ten One Hit Wonders of the Seventies

As far as I'm concerned pop music is buggered, stuffed, rooted nowadays. It's not so much because everything is hip-hop bare-arsed Idol house mock-soul shite. No, it's because of two vital factors. The first is I'm an old bugger who has almost no bloody time for the likes of the plastic princesses and stammering yammerers who dominate the air waves and those new-fangled MP3 thingies. The second is the art of the great one hit wonder has been lost. At its peak (i.e. the 1970s) the one hit wonder as a music phenomenon was just as culturally and musically defining as the more gargantuan rockers. For every David Bowie's "Space Oddity" there was a Terry Jack's "Seasons in the Sun". And so in honour of the days when 2UW's DJ's spun the platters and the CD was just a combination of the third and fourth letters of the alphabet, here are my top 10 one hit wonders of the 70s:

10. Kung Fu Fighting: Carl Davis
How can anyone go past a musical paean to the same Chinese martial art that inspired Bruce Lee and Keith Carradine to make terrible movies and TV episodes respectively? Plus Carl tapped into the funky black street vibe that also gave us "Shaft", "Trouble Man" and "Superfly". As 70's one hit wonders go it also has surprising longevity thanks to appearances in "Kung Fu Panda" and the popular Playstation game "Singstar". Thank goodness for funky Billy Chin and little Sammy Chung!


9. Halfway Hotel: Voyager
It's not actually the lyrics or the music that make this a pearler when it comes to 70s one hit wonders. It was the video, which arguably makes "Halfway Hotel" one of the earliest members of the conspiracy discussed in "Video Killed The Radio Star" (see below). The core of the lyrics is a male suitor trying to convince his lady love (against fillial responsibility) to come with him to the eponymous lodgings, nominally for food and drink (Moselle, one of the archetypal great wines of the 70s!), and yet underneath this appeal is lust. Pure young 70s lust. I wonder if there is any allegience between Voyager's creation and the Eagle's "Hotel California"? Perhaps they're next door on the tourist strip...


8. Undercover Angel: Alan O'Day
So the scenario of this song is a man who has certain lascivious feelings is in bed, alone. He has a dream involving a phantasm, a female figment of his nocturnal imagination, perhaps even a succubus. They do the deed to his utterings of "whaaat?" and "Alll right", then after what I can only assume is a successfully consumated wet dream the imaginary lover tells the protagonist to find a real woman who'll also play nude bed twister. Need I say more? This is an A grade classic one hit wonder, with all the subtlety that current rubbish (e.g. "You Make Me Cum In My Pants") cannot dare to dream.


7. Afternoon Delight: Starland Vocal Band
Now when I was a kid hearing the SVB's vocal stylings I had some vague image of them singing about getting some lollies or something else really fun to eat after lunch. Imagine my shock, surprise and amusement when I discovered several years later (and no, it wasn't 2006) they were singing about s-e-x in the afternoon! For all the pervey undertoes there are echoes of the Mamas and the Papas with the boy/girl harmonizing and as shown in the Youtube video the Starland Vocal Band were very 'with it' thanks to Captain & Teneille style head gear and knotted pullovers hanging over shoulders. Finally any song that inspires incest comedy in "Arrested Development" deserves more recognition.


6. Werewolves of London: Warren Zevon
One of the true litmus tests of a great 70s one hit wonder is could it happen now. In the case of Zevon's greatest ever single I think no one now would be willing to take on the song about Lon Chaney senior, Lon Chaney Junior, the Queen, Trader Ricks, beef chow mein and of course the lycanthropes in the UK's capital. Again "Werewolves..." is a fun song to sing along with (which is of course one of the few activities available when listening to an AM transistor radio in 1978, as opposed to now with digital downloads, twittering, mash-ups etc etc). Plus unlike much of today's pop music it is clever and funny, without being cynical or an exercise in audio wanking. Warren's passing in 2003 has left the world of music just that little more dimmer.


5. Blue Swede: Hooked on a Feeling
This is another very personal choice because when it comes down to it "Hooked on a feeling" is just a classic fun song and was an example of how European pop bands could triumph over their Anglo-American-Aussie rivals here downunder with good diction and a few "ooga chooga ooga chooga" lines. Yes, there have been other versions. Yes, this song became cool because of Quentin Tarentino then lost it because of overkill as part of the dancing baby/Ally McBeal fad of the late 90s. However this is a piece of pure 70s one hit wonder pop that does what all the best songs of that era do. It makes you feel good.


4. Video Killed The Radio Star: The Buggles
This is almost a cultural and music equivalent to the fin de siecle years in Paris. Whilst ebulliantly celebrating what has just passed (i.e. semi-nonsensical 3 minute odes to love, dancing, the radio, cars...you name it...all and any youthful pursuits) it also is a song darkly prophesizing the downfall of what made pop music spread like N1H1 virus. The musicians behind this song have semi-serious cred (i.e. performance and production links with acts like Yes, Asia and Malcolm Mc;laren amongst others), and it is a damn fun song to sing along too. The video clip was a stellar effort from director Russell Mulcahey (The Martin Scorcese of the MTV generation), and so even if video did kill the radio star at least it was a quick enjoyable death.


3. Farewell Aunty Jack: Graham Bond & Rory O'Donoghue
This will be my only Australian song in my top 10, and I am very very biased towards the only number one hit to actually threaten the listener with having their arms ripped off through the radio. Part comedy song, part signature sign off for the closest Australia has ever come to producing something as good as Monty Python's Flying Circus, "Farewell Aunty Jack" has all the hallmarks of a Phil Spector or Roy Orbison mini-rock-opera. There are quiet bits, loud bits, moments where love and hope, sadness and solitude are counterbalanced with motorcycles and a fat transvestite with a golden glove. This was the biggest selling song in Australia in 1974 (8 weeks at number one) and even now it's very easy for me to put on those gruff tones of Aunty jack and recite "I'm really off this time...like a piece of cheese".


2. Ca Plane Pour Moi: Plastic Bertrand
Europop punk is not one of the most popular music genres. French is not the language of edgy rock, cool funk or soulful singers. And yet thanks to the Belgian who sprung forth with an epileptic fit inducing video and more zippers on his outfit than a demo model at a trouser fly convention, we have "Ca Plane Pour Moi". I'll be buggered if I can understand the lyrics, and it bears no resemblance except certain chord progressions with it's English-language variant "jet Biy Jet Girl". However no one will ever doubt the veracity of Plastic's claim to being the King of the Divan. Francophone post-modernist self-ironic punk pop...this is the flagship of that long neglected style.


1. My Sharona: The Knack
1979 was in my opinion the greatest year in music since the Beatles split. And 1979 was the year which saw the closest thing to a Beatles tribute band literally steamrolling the charts. The Knack were responsible for the catchiest, most enjoyable, incredibly radio friendly chunk of adolescent pop rock in dare I say the last forty years. Forget "Mickey" by Toni Basil. Ignore "Turning Japanese" by The vapours. And we won't even refer to "So Long" by Fischer Z. The Knack had the the knack of scaling musical Everest with "My Sharona", then fell like George Mallory to unplumbed depths. Only 2 years ago I saw Dave Fiegler solo sing his greatest contribution to world history at Acer Arena Sydney. Its still freakin' rocks man!